I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
