I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
