You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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