handjob tips. give me some.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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