I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
