youre lurking in front of me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
