it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize