Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
