TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
my poor anus
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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