Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize