Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
