Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
