So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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