Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
