Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
