D3 body, D1 cock
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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