So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
