No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
