if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
