A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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