you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We had to coat check the pizza.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize