My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
