I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
