I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
