Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You made out with two different species that night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
