you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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