Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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