i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
