Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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