Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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