is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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