I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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