Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
