nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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