i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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