So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
