What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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