I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
