I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
