? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
