I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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