ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize