Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
