before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
