he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
