that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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