No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
