Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
