Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
