Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
