god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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