I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
