at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
