Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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