pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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