And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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