I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The best revenge is premature balding
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
