Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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