i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
