my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
