when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
